Don't worry...I'm still alive and doing well :)

Dang!! It has been AWHILE since I last updated my blog. Opps!

I really don't mean to do it though. I just have the tendency to putting it behind all the time =_=

There were few times I wanted to update it but when I thought of the amount of stuff I have to write. I hesitated and just left the blog..haha!

Anyways, my life has been good.

Since I came back from home this summer, I have changed for good in both swimming and school.

Big thank you for my pyschologist who have greatly helped me get through the good and bads for the past four months.

I never missed any of my classes except that one day I was sick and also to travel to swim meets. Other than that, I became more consistent in swim practices. Lastly, I have learned to control my anger and bad attitude.

I swam well at SEA games at Laos. Got the three gold medals I targeted :) Broke three SEA games records and two national records. Really happy with my results minus the 400IM. I know I have told many people that would be my last time swimming that event. I think I might have to take my words back because I wasn't satisfied with that swim. Maybe I'll swim that later this year..hehe! We'll see.

Oh, I celebrated my 24th Bday at Laos with my lovely teammates and the crazy Filipinos. My best bday present of course is to see my family!!!

Hmm...what else to write?! Not gonna lie, I seriously have lots to tell. Especially losing my passport on the weekend of the 27th of Sept and then what I have been through to get a new one...really not fun at all...>_<

Will talk more about that next time. Gotta head to bed now!! Nitey nite everyone!

I'm alive!!

I've been way too lazy to update my blog even though I often come by and check out few websites on my page.

Anyways, here some latest updates.

I'm currently at Santa Clara for Grand Prix meet. Today is the last day and I'm swimming the 200IM later tonight.

I saw Jamie and Travis at the pool just now. The last time I saw them was like 2004?! Travis hasn't changed a bit but Jamie has definitely grown. Caught up with them a bit but I had to leave coz my coach and teammates were waiting. It was still nice to see both of them.

I can't believe we're going back to Fayetteville tomorrow but we won't get back til evening. Blahh!

So I'm really not looking forward to deal with my summer classes problem when I get back. I'm so fucking screwed!! Gahh! I just never learnt!!

Should've seen this coming...

It's a fact that I've always like him,
but I never thought it would be that bad.

It's because things have always been so casual between us,
that's why I never worry much.

I was not aware that the more I get to know him,
I would cross the line of being "just friends".

After I realized I like him more than "just friends",
there's nothing I can do but to keep the feelings to myself.

It's because I do cherish me and his "friendship",
I could not bare taking the risk and lose it all.

I've been struggling not to think about him,
unfortunately it's not working out that well.

I shouldn't have tried to analyze the needless matter,
if not things wouldn't be as troublesome now.

Man...why do I repeatly getting myself into dilemma like this?

Boring shit

I died a little at the beginning of prac this morn n then got better but still...
Weights were alright.
Talked to da coaches bt swimming for a bit, went pretty well.
Decided not to go to my class coz I was freaking tired AGAIN.
Was gonna get some coffee n food at da union, realized I didn't have my wallet with me.
On ma way back to da quad, realized I don't have my keys.
Luckily I didn't have to wait too long to get into da building.
Took a long nap.
Felt alright at prac, my back was pretty sore.
Went to my lab, it was alright too.
Can't stop thinking about him da whole time.
Don't even kno y.
Decided to text him.
He wasn't being very responsive like usual.
Very tempted to ask him if he's always like that but don't have da courage to do so.
I'm still tired as fuck.
Should go to bed soon.
But don't really feel like it.
What's the matter with me??!!!

Entry from Monday

Got kicked out of practice this morning.
It's been a while since this happened. Ha!
O well...I wasn't feeling that great in the water anyways.
At least I did much better job in the afternoon practice and I also apologized to the coach.
So it's all good.

So...I just thought of checking his fb profile today.
I saw he friended HER...
The mother of their daughter.
Not gonna lie I haven't been stop thinking about them since then.
But it didn't really affect me much thought.
Probably because I've been depressed with other things already.
So yea...

For some reason, I still kinda want to see him though.

I seriously can't wait to get out of Arkansas!!! Wahhh!